


Bulwark Coffee House

by metalstraws



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Depression, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, There's a lot to this, angus is too pure when he arrives i swear to god, fuck sazed, kravitz is a food critic that comes to taakos coffee shop, kravitz is gonna make it wayyy better, revenge porn, sazed almost ruined taakos life, taako has a grudge against lucretia, taako is fuckin head over heels but also afraid that kravitz will ruin his life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2020-10-28 19:50:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20784170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metalstraws/pseuds/metalstraws
Summary: 'Taako will never mind, because as long as he keeps people around and keeps them happy then he can pretend that he deserves to feel good. If he can keep it together long enough then they’ll think he’s better. He just has to convince himself before he convinces them.'After Sazed posts some lewd videos of Taako on the internet, Taako is afraid for his career as a business owner. Kravitz is a food critic, popular online for his scathing reviews, and everyone just wants Taako to feel better.





	1. Elderflower Macarons

Taako doesn’t know how it got to this point.

He’s always liked to imagine himself as something of a mongoose, all jokes aside. Poison couldn’t affect him, peoples’ words couldn’t affect him, trauma couldn’t affect him. He was immune to whatever he needed to be by pretending that it never happened. It’s a talent, almost, to be able to shake off the hate and the hurt and channel it into something more productive, like cooking or doing his hair or makeup.

In reality, Taako knows he’s more of a shark. If he doesn’t stop moving then he can’t feel the pain and the words will just wash against him and then away.

He doesn’t know how it go to this.

He hasn’t left the house in a week, hasn’t been to the shop in a week. He feels guilty, dumping all the work on her and Lup to deal with, but he’s called in sick.

He’s depressed.

He’ll never admit it out loud.

It’s been a few days and they only things he’s put in his body are black coffee and half a sleeve of Double Stuf Oreos, which sit, sealed on the coffee table, next to where he’s resting his feet, covered with heavy socks.

He’s cold, shivering beneath the down comforter he’s ripped off his bed and cocooned himself in on the couch. The screen of his laptop is sitting on his lap, the Hulu home screen illuminating himself and the area around him a bright, hideous green that’s no doubt washing him out horribly.

His eyes dart to the tabs at the top of his browser, sees the other tab open.

It takes everything in him to not click on it.

His phone vibrates with a text. He knows who it’s from.

**Do Not Reply You Fucking Dipshit 2:03 P.M.  
**R u rlly still ignoring me? U know I have way worse. If you don’t start sending more I’ll post more.

**Do Not Reply You Fucking Dipshit 2:08 P.M.  
**Sluts like you don’t deserve decency, you should have known this would happen if u spread ur legs for everyone you saw

**Do Not Reply You Fucking Dipshit 2:19 P.M.  
**Better not check Porn Hub. Your face is all over. Maybe it’ll be trending soon.

Taako grits his teeth as his eyes skim over the new messages, read receipts turned off so as not to alert his harasser to his awareness. He’s surprised no one else he knows has seen the videos yet, all things considered, it’s not like his friends weren’t involved with Sazed on social media. His ex has to have posted about this somewhere on Facebook or Twitter or Snapchat. Taako frowns. He’d blocked Sazed immediately after the older man had left Taako’s house. He’d changed his locks, he’d gotten a security system he could use from his phone, he’d almost changed his number, but decided against it. In hindsight, he should have given Sazed what he wanted.

Things would be so much different if he’d just let himself be knocked off a pedestal for once in his stupid life.

Taako wallows in his pit of self-deprecation on the couch for a few more days before Lup stops by. She knocks first, then lets herself in. His phone vibrates to alert him that his front door has been opened, which he ignores.

“Taako?” She walks through the foyer into the living room and almost misses his miserable lump of a body on his couch, still wrapped completely in his comforter. His hair is a greasy, knotted mess under the hood of the jacket he’s wearing, his face is oily and he knows that he probably has a few blemishes cropping up on his cheek from where it’s been resting on the same side of a pillow for over a week.

“Oh God, Taako, are you okay?” She’s in front of him know, on her knees between the coffee table and the couch, she pushes filthy hair off his face. If she’d come by the first few days, his eyes would have been red and puffy, but he’s lost the ability to cry over the situation. He’s numb.

“Yeah, ya know, just peachy. Say, Lulu, you ever sent someone pics and videos in confidence just to have them posted all over porn sites without your consent?” He can’t look at her, so he looks through her, past her, into the wall on the opposite side of the room.

She’s quiet for a moment. “What? Taako what are you-“

Taako cuts her off. “Sazed. He took every fuckin’ nude pic and every fuckin’ video I sent him and after he beat the shit out of me, he posted them all over a porno site to get at me for blocking him.”

She’s quiet again.

“Lulu, what do I do?” His voice catches, but he swallows hard and holds it in. “Why does shit like this always happen to me?”

“You dingus.” She sits down on the couch, near his feet. “You didn’t do anything to deserve this. He’s a prick. What he’s doing is illegal, you know that, right? That’s revenge porn.”

“There’s nothing I can do about it, Lulu.” He sighs. “He’s not worth fighting.”

Lup sighs and pulls his legs into her lap after snagging his laptop off the coffee table. “We’ll figure something out. You wanna watch Ghost Adventures?” She asks, typing in his password and seeing the green Hulu screen load up from where he’d left it a few days prior.

“Y’know,” She said. “If you wanted, I could talk to Barry… maybe we could whip up some acids or somethin’?” She says it so offhandedly, so nonchalant that Taako can’t help but chuckle.

Then he can’t stop laughing. He laughs until tears roll down his cheeks, and Lup sets the laptop aside to pull her brother into her arms as his rolling laughter dissolves in broken sobs as he clings to her, halfway out of his blanket cocoon, thin fingers tangled in her chef’s coat and fat tears soaking into her side.

She strokes his dirty hair away from his face and watches his freckles become more prominent as his face gets more and more red.

“It’ll be okay Taako. We’ll figure something out.” She promises.

And Lup always keeps her promises.

* * *

Kravitz frowns at the humble building in front of him. It’s located on the corner of two busy streets with only a handful of actual parking spaces in front of its large, glass front. A slightly rusted sign hanging above his head proudly announces this to be Bulwark Coffee House, a local favorite that’s known for its pastries and stronger-than-anything cold brew coffee.

A small brass bell above the door chimes as he enters and he has to appreciate the atmosphere that this little shop is able to create with only a few small, round tables with assorted and mismatched chairs encircled around them. It’s almost the perfect temperature, also, with cold fall breezes being left at the door as he steps in. A quick glance around him shows a thermostat by the door proudly claiming “DO NOT TOUCH OR LUP WILL END YOU 😊” and a digital number reading 73 degrees.

As he glances up at the order counter, he sees two identical people in bright red aprons bickering animatedly. They’re almost exactly alike except that the more feminine one has the most colorful hair he’s ever seen. It’s red and melts into orange and that into a neon yellow at the ends, which they have pulled into a messy, curly bun on top of their head.

The other has a loose braid holding back almost-white curls, and though he swears both have the same face this is the one that snags his attention. They look tired, slightly dark circles showing from under artfully applied foundation and contour, eyeliner that Kravitz could only hope he’d be able to master before he dies, perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

“Lulu, listen.” This one says. “There is no way in hell I’m gonna make anything remotely fuckin’ pumpkin flavored. Pumpkin Spice flavored anything is a sin to the culinary arts and plebs need to respect salted caramel as the superior fall staple.” They cross their arms as the other one, who Kravitz assumes is ‘Lulu’ puts their hands on their hips.

“Taako, listen.” Taako? That name sounds familiar to him for some reason, but he isn’t sure why. “There comes a time in every business owner’s life where they have to admit defeat and bend to the demands of the customers. People keep asking if we have Pumpkin Spice anything and as such, I ordered a syrup. Just one! We can make it super small demand! People will go nuts for it!”

Taako opens their mouth to retort and then notices Kravitz. He supposes that they aren’t usually busy on a Wednesday afternoon at one o’clock, which is understandable for a coffee place of this size.

“Heyyy homie, how’s it hangin’? Welcome to Bulwark, was there anything my sister could get started for ya today?” They lean their elbows against the counter and look Kravitz over.

“Oh, bite me!” Lulu bites at Taako, stepping in front of the white Square terminal. “Let’s try that again. Forgive my brother, he doesn’t usually work the front. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before, have you ever been by?” Her customer service is impeccable, Kravitz thinks, smiling to himself.

“I can’t say I have. Though I did hear you have the strongest cold brew in the city. Care to pour me a large?”

Lup grins. “You’re damn right we have the best cold brew! We steep it ten hours overnight every day fresh! You’re lucky it’s been slow and that it’s getting colder out, we have plenty left today. Was there anything else I could get for you?”

Kravitz dares a glance at the pastry display to his left. Everything looks amazing.

“Who makes your pastries? They look great.” He comments.

“That would be me, my dude.” Taako says, pouring a large cup of what he assumes is their cold brew. “You want ice or anything else in here, homie?”

“Ice would be lovely.” Kravitz says. “You make these?”

“Hell yeah! Cha’boi is a fuckin’ legend. My name’s Taako, and if you know about this place then you _have_ to know me. I’m from TV!” Taako laughs loud and slides the cup over. “There’s lids at the station if you want one. We recommend using a pasta straw or somethin’ though, ya know. Savin’ the world and all that.”

“Your name definitely rings a few bells, but I can’t say I can place it. What did you make today that you’d recommend?” He asks, realizing that Lup is listening to their conversation and waiting for him to make a decision.

“I made some fuckin’ dank elderflower macarons last night that I’m about to finish icing. If you gimme a few minutes I can slide a couple your way for, ah, a taste test? If you’ve got the time, I mean. If not, I’m gonna have to say the raspberry cream cheese danishes are fuckin’ bomb as well, my dude.”

Kravitz grins. “I think I’ll be here for a while. Do you have wi-fi by any chance?” He adjusts his laptop bag on his shoulder. “Think I’ll get a little work done since it’s nice and quiet in here. And please, a macaron sounds lovely. How much do I owe you?”

Taako waves his hand and punches in a few buttons on the Square reader. “For agreeing to be my guinea pig? Nothin’ homie. By the way, what’s your name thug?”

Kravitz grins and takes his coffee. “Kravitz. You’ve already told me you’re Taako. What’s your name, ma’am?” He turns to ‘Lulu’.

“Lup!” She chirps, stretching her arms over her head.

“It’s been very nice meeting you. I hope this coffee lives up to the rumors.” He winks playfully at Taako and goes to find a table to claim.

“Holy shit!” Lup hisses in the back room as Taako fills an icing bag with shaking hands. “He’s totally flirting with you!” Taako laughs nervously as he ties the icing bag, tossing the extra plastic over the back of his hand. “You gonna get his number?”

“No way, he’s way too hot for me, Lulu.” Taako says, beginning to fill a cookie with the delicately flavored icing.

“I’d say you’re both equally hot enough for each other.” She pauses. “You can’t tip toe around guys forever, Taako, you can’t let Sazed ruin your life forever.” Her voice is gentle, but Taako’s hand slips and he overfills one of his macarons.

“Lulu, I love you. We can definitely talk about this later. Go watch the front door, oh my god, what do I pay you for!?” He screeches as he hears the bell above the door chime and watches her go back up front with a fake as hell customer service smile plastered on her face.

Taako takes a deep breath and lets himself get lost in the action of swirling the icing onto half of the cookies, making sure they’re even and look correct before sandwiching them, then inspecting for the smoothest and best looking cookies, looking for the best edges.

Carefully, he brings the fucked up one to his mouth and takes a bite.

It tastes amazing. He knew it would.

He waits for a few moments to see if it leaves a bad taste then plates four and walks out the kitchen door to where he sees Kravitz sitting.

“Hey homie, you ordered some dope ass macarons?” He grins, gently depositing the small plate of the cookies in front of Kravitz’s laptop, which is open, and watches the man finish typing away at something. He smiles up at Taako.

“Thank you, Taako. They look great.”

“And I can assure you, they taste just as good.” Taako boasts. “I’m a bit of a professional, ya dig?” Kravitz laughs at that. “Watcha workin’ on there? If I’m allowed to ask. Maybe you’re like an undercover agent or somethin’.”

“No, nothing like that. Though, I suppose the suit is a bit misleading, huh? No, I’m just a food critic.” He says, and Taako’s stomach drops into his fuckin’ feet. “I’ve heard a lot of good things and I’m just here to check it out.”

“A-A food critic huh?” Taako tries to hide the shaking in his voice. “That’s pretty dope, my dude.” He clears his throat. “Well, uh, what do you think about the coffee?”

“It’s lovely, actually. Most cold brew is just so strong, you know? Which is fine, I love a bold roast, but sometimes I need energy and a palatable drink, so this works very well. I wonder, would you ever consider making different roasts of cold brew? Perhaps a blonde breakfast and a Colombian, or perhaps something a little more exotic?”

Taako laughs, hoping the nervous edge doesn’t seep through. “Nah, I mean, Lup handles the coffee stuff. I just deal with food and payroll and, uh, y’know. This is my coffee house, so. I make the big decisions, but she’s my right hand, so she sorta helps in that regard.” Fuck, he’s rambling.

Kravitz nods and types furiously for a moment. “Would you like to sit with me? I find it easier to write sometimes when there’s another presence. That’s why I like to write in the place I’m eating. What would you say your vibe here is?”

“Oh, uh, I mean. Um. We want people of all kinds to have somewhere to go to get what they need. We try not to mark up our food and drinks too much, because we don’t wanna be some dumb bourgeois hipster coffee place that makes you pay five bucks for a cup of cold brew that costs us a dollar to make. You know? And, um, I mean, we’re a queer company, we like to let people know that we’re a safe place to come to if you’re in trouble. We have a little room in the back that people can book for events and stuff, and lots of rallies and marches and benefits have been planned back there. It’s kinda crazy, actually.” He laughs, settling into a chair as he speaks.

“I see. Would you say you’re a politically charged business? Would you refuse service to a more conservative customer?”

“If they aren’t hurting or harassing anyone, or misgendering anyone, or causing problems, then no. I want everyone to feel safe, but if someone threatens that then you bet your pretty little ass that I’ll kick em out.”

Kravitz nods and keeps typing. “You say you’re a queer business. Would you want to elaborate on that at all or…?”

“I’m gay, homie, and Lup is my sister, she’s trans. But I swear to God if you say shit about her and use the wrong pronoun I will-“

“Easy, Taako, I was just curious for myself.” He smiles at Taako and clicks something on his laptop, then closes it. “Now, I think I’d like to try one of these macarons. You said they were elderflower?”

Taako nods, and feels a bead of sweat drip down the back of his neck, which, ew, why was he so nervous? “Yeah, my dude, and I think you’ll find that I am an amazing chef so, like, prepare your tastebuds, homie.” He grins, sitting back. He’s got this. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

Kravitz inspects the cookie on the top of the stack, looking it over a few times before taking a bite, and wow, okay, Taako’s not sure he’s ever seen a guy with canines that defined that he’s ever been attracted to before.

Kravitz chews, swallows, and glances at Taako.

“That… was probably the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

Taako’s face splits into a grin. “Told you.”

* * *

“TAAKO!” Magnus shouts, rushing into Taako’s house, sending a notification to Taako’s phone that the front door is open, which he ignores. “LUP TOLD ME YOU MET A GUY AND YOU HAVEN’T TOLD ME ABOUT IT!?”

Magnus grips Taako’s upper arms, eyes wide and looking hurt.

“First things first, Maggy, my dude, release the Taako.” He says, and waits for Magnus to let go. “Second things second, he was a food critic there to try and tear down my coffee shop. Third things third, he may have asked for my number and I might have given it to him.” He mumbles the last one, turning back to the cook book he’s flipping through, looking for a disgusting recipe to make amazing.

“What? You got a guy’s number!? That’s great news!”

“Nah, my dude, I gave a guy my number, the question still remains as to whether or not he texts me, ya dig? Now, Maggy, are we feelin’ eggplant parm or a roasted chicken parm sandwich?”

“You’re in a parm mood, I’m guessing, but your eggplant parms are always to die for so, I think that?” Magnus offers, sliding onto one of the bar stools in Taako’s kitchen.

“Maggy, do you think I deserve to be happy?” He asks suddenly, rummaging through his pantry for all the things he’ll need, but he’ll still need Lup to grab a couple eggplants before she gets here, so he pulls his phone out of his pocket and shoots her a quick text.

“Of course! I think almost everyone does.” He says earnestly, watching Taako move around the large kitchen and pantry and go into the fridge. “Except bad people. People like your ex mans don’t deserve shit.”

Taako smiles. “You really think so?”

“Taako, I know so.”

He’s about to say something, but his doorbell chimes and Taako’s phone vibrates, so he pulls it out and unlocks it, pulling up the doorbell camera feed.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Cap’n’port, just walk in!” He yells down the hallway toward the front door. “How many times do I have to tell you?” He laughs as Davenport walks in, a shorter man with bright red hair and a bushy beard to match.

“I just want to be polite, Taako! You kids these days have no concept of manners and just barge right into each other’s homes with no warning!” He chides, hoisting himself onto a bar stool next to Magnus, who towers over and is easily the mass of five Davenports put together.

“Yeah, yeah, save the spiel for when Merle gets here, I’d rather you guys gang up on me than have to hear it individually.” He waves his hand, going back to getting everything prepped for when Lup arrives with his precious eggplants. “Maggy picked eggplant parm, by the way.” He says, working on the noodles.

“Taako gave a guy his number today.” Magnus tells Dav. “Except he was a food critic, so maybe he’ll ruin Taako’s life. Oh my gosh, I didn’t even think about that.” Magnus gasps.

“What was this guy’s name?” Davenport asks, hopping down to get himself a glass of water.

“Kravitz.” Taako says and Davenport shrugs.

“I’m not familiar with him, so I don’t think he writes for the paper.” He sips his water and goes back to his spot beside Magnus. “Is Lucretia coming?”

Taako slams his spoon down on the counter with more force than he wants to. “No. You know she isn’t welcome here.”

“I know, I know, I just. I dunno, sometimes I feel like we’re missing a person. There’s supposed to be seven of us, Taako, lucky number seven, and now there’s only six.” He sighs. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“She almost fucked up my entire life, Dav.” Taako reminds his friend. “She bailed on the coffee shop and left me with all the debt and expenses. She left me to run a coffee shop she promised she wanted. And then she bailed.” He sighs and massages his temples. He needs to remember to take off his makeup before he goes to sleep tonight.

“I know, Taako, but… Bulwark is doing better than any of us every could have expected! It’s not like it didn’t work out in the long run, besides, now all the profits go to you!”

“Exactly. I don’t want her coming back and trying to get in on all that now that we’re thriving without her. She always does that shit, tries to do things on her own and then when she can’t she comes crawling back because she needs us, but this time she gets to deal with shit on her own. I don’t care what she’s been doing or how she is.” He huffs. He knows it isn’t true. She fucked him over badly, but they’ve been friends for, well, forever. There’s no reason to still hold a grudge, but Taako doesn’t forgive and Taako doesn’t forget. That’s how he deals with being hurt and let down by someone he thought was one of his best friends. He should have known better.

A few minutes pass in silence before the front door opens again and Taako, whose phone is somewhere in the pantry, probably, vibrates but he doesn’t know it. Lup and Barry announce their arrival and he can hear the sound of grocery bags crinkling.

“Yo Lu, did you get those dank fuckin’ eggy boys?” Taako calls.

“You know it lil bro! The best fuckin’ eggy boys I could manage to get my hands on!” She comes trotting into the kitchen with a plastic bag and Taako can see through its semi-transparent plastic that there are, indeed, two large eggplants. “We got a little pop after you headed out, but nothin’ I couldn’t handle because I am, as you know, the best employee you have.”

“Hey!” Magnus protests. “I’m just as good!”

“Oh my God,” Taako groans. “I’m not fuckin’ doin’ this, everyone out of Taako’s domain, you are all banished from my kitchen until the fuckin’ parm is ready. Out, out, shoo, all of you.” He waves them away with a laugh and is left alone, slicing his eggplants on a mandolin.

He’s depressed.

He’s still never said it out loud, but Lup knows, she took him to a therapist, she makes sure his psychiatrist keeps his meds up to date, she makes sure he takes said meds.

He’s depressed and he feels guilty for needing help. He’s a grown ass man and he can’t even make sure he’s taking his antidepressants without her. She comes by more often, brings Barry and a bottle of wine, schedules ‘family’ dinners with the six of them, brings board games and more wine and Magnus brings beer and Merle brings whatever desserts Mavis has been experimenting with that week. She’s got talent, Taako will admit, he’d love to give her lessons sometime, but between her high school work and him running the shop it just never works out.

He feels guilty that his friends take time out of their lives for him. He feels like he deserves to be forgotten and swept under a rug, kept out of sight like a dirty secret. He feels…

Bad.

He wants to feel better, but it’s hard. Sazed ruined him, almost ruined his career, and almost broke him completely.

But Lup didn’t let that happen.

She’s always been there for him, but he can’t seem to get his shit together enough to be there for her.

Taako lets his mind wander while he finishes putting the dish together and popping it in the preheated oven. They have a little while before it’s ready, so he puts together a cheese board (he’ll die before he says charcuterie) and grabs some crackers. It’s basic, but it’ll have to do.

“Still no Merle?” Taako asks, placing the board and plate of crackers on the coffee table. “Anyone want drinks?”

“He’s picking up Mavis from soccer practice before he comes over. And nah, I’m good.” Magnus says, tapping away at his phone. “Julia says to say hi!”

“Tell her we say hello,” Barry grunts, sprawled on the couch. “Is that gouda? Gross.”

“You just can’t appreciate fine food, Barold.” Taako says, leaning against the arm of the chair Davenport’s claimed, scanning the faces of his friends. They all look relaxed, which is good. Taako doesn’t want anyone to be stressed. “Lulu you want a glass of pinot noir or chardonnay?”

“You got sparkling?” She asks, rolling her neck to crack it.

“You bet your ass I do.” He says, rising again to go get it. “Maggy, you want a Yuengling?”

“If you don’t mind!” He calls after Taako’s retreating figure.

Taako will never mind, because as long as he keeps people around and keeps them happy then he can pretend that he deserves to feel good. If he can keep it together long enough then they’ll think he’s better. He just has to convince himself before he convinces them.


	2. The Eclair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> never beta'd, i'm a tuff ass mf

It’s been a few months since the incident with Sazed and a few weeks since Taako met Kravitz. He’s been waiting patiently for the man to text him back, but he responds so slowly and it drives him crazy every time they’re having a normal, steady conversation and the other man just disappears. Taako isn’t even sure that Kravitz is gay, per say, but he enjoys their conversations. Kravitz talks about what restaurants he’s visiting that week, and updates Taako real-time sometimes.

Taako finds Kravitz endearing. He’s polite and forward and yet also closed off. Taako doesn’t know much about him other than he’s a food critic, a few years older than himself, and has cats. He only knows about the cats because there had been a point in a conversation where Kravitz had taken a few minutes longer to reply and then responded with a, ‘sorry, one of my cats threw up on the couch, had to clean it up’ which had Taako rolling for a few minutes.

Today got off to a good start. Taako woke up to a text from Kravitz stating ‘hey, I think I have time today to swing by bulwark. Are you gonna be there?’ with they eyes emoji, to which Taako snorted. The text had only been unopened for about half an hour before Taako woke up. It was his day to open and Lup’s to close, so he had to be up at about five to get there by six to get everything open by six thirty.

He rolls out of bed and stretches, letting out a soft groan as his joints pop and his muscles stretch deliciously. He glances at his long mirror that hangs on one wall of his room and sighs.

His sleep shirt is boxy and rides up when he stretches, letting him see his torso and, in turn, his ribs, barely noticeable, but definitely there, under his skin. He sighs. He’ll need to start eating more if he doesn’t want Lup to worry about him.

He opts for a denim skort today because God damn it, they’re coming back in style, but Lup won’t believe him. It hugs his ass just right, or what little ass he has left. Since he stopped eating healthy and working out last year he’s lost most of his curves. He frowns. When did he let it get to this?

He decides on a white, billowy blouse with lacey trim on the ends of the sleeves and a v-neck that dips just a bit lower than is probably workplace appropriate. He tucks it into his skort and accents it with a thick, black belt. He smiles. If his shirt is loose enough then Lup and customers won’t be able to see just how much weight he’s lost. He snags black ankle boots after pulling on socks and looks himself over again. The outfit is enough, he probably doesn’t need to do a lot of makeup today, either. His hair, though, is another story.

He drags himself into his messy bathroom, snagging his hairbrush off the counter before working it through his tangled bedhead, working gently through a few knots and turning on his straightener in the meantime to let it warm while he gets started on his makeup.

He decides that his skin is clear enough to try out a new BB cream and starts applying it to his face and neck, blending it down a little bit and loving the glow it gives off. He sets it with a powder and applies a little eyeliner and mascara and brushes out his brows with a tinted gel. Natural, he thinks, I want to keep it natural today.

He checks the time on his phone and nods. He has plenty of time left to do his hair, which will take him the better part of the next thirty minutes to straighten and pin back. He gest to work.

As he works the key into the lock of Bulwark he shivers a bit. In picking his outfit for the day he neglected to remember that it’s fuckin’ October and too cold to be wearing shorts anymore. As he treks into the store and locks the door behind him he glances at the thermostat. It’s a comfortable temperature, but he can’t shake the chill from his bones… No, he thinks, I can’t do that, Lup will fuckin’ kill me.

At that same time he realizes he never texted Kravitz back. Swearing under his breath he pulls his phone from his pocket and opens up their text thread.

To: Kravvy

Hey my man, yea ill be here today! Come by whenever, I got a new recipe for you to try 😉

He tucks his phone away and starts flipping on lights and machines and ovens as he heads into the office tucked into the back of the kitchen and sits down in the desk chair, booting up the computer to get the specials for the day printed and posted. His phone vibrates with a text that he checks.

From: Kravvy

Well color me excited, hope it’s as good as those macarons. Maybe youre trying to butter me up before I post my review of your shop?

More fuckin’ eyes emojis that make Taako’s heart sink.

**To: Kravvy**  
Depends, how bad did you flame me? You know it’ll break my fragile little heart my ddue

_From: Kravvy_  
I never share, you know that. But I promise it won’t put you out of business.

**To: Kravvy**  
Mkay krav whatever u say but if I go bankrupt im suing you

He tucks his phone away after that and gets to work getting coffee started brewing and putting clean pumps on the syrups, getting a bucket of sanitizer set out and making sure the dining room is set up and clean. Lup is usually good about closing but Taako can never be too sure what he’ll walk into.

He hums to himself as he works, booting up the Square terminal and counting out the drawer before putting it in. He looks around the shop and smiles. He loves the life he’s made for himself here on the corner of this busy intersection, loves his customers and his coworkers and friends. His heart feels heavy when he thinks of the fact that it could have been so much better if Lucretia had just stuck with him, but he shakes his head and goes to unlock the door for Magnus, who waves at him through the glass front.

“What’s shakin’ Maggy?” He asks, holding the door open.

“I don’t know why I let you rope me into working at six thirty in the morning, Taako. I really don’t.” He groans.

Taako grins as they walk behind the counter and grab their respective aprons with their embroidered names. “I mean hey, at least you get all the free coffee you want, ya know?”

“Yeah, yeah. I got it handled up here, go ahead and get started on the pastries.” Magnus smiles, definitely tired, but not angry. “What’s on special today?”

Taako hands him a stack of menus. “It’s Friday, so cold brew, chai lattes, and scones. I’m also working on a new pastry today, so I’m gonna need a taste test in a little bit.”

“Hell yeah, I can’t wait!” Magnus grins and gets to work stocking the cups and grabbing measuring cups.

Taako wanders back into the kitchen where his ovens have been preheating and his eggs and butter thawing to room temperature. He’s making something today as a surprise for Davenport and he’s hoping it’ll be as good as he’s thinking.

He works on his dough and his glaze and his filling, occasionally calling Magnus back as danishes and other things become available throughout the first hour or so. He preps everything the day before and then puts it in the oven that morning. He hates that it can’t be as fresh as he wants, but knows it’s just not feasible to get everything done unless he comes in at three or four in the morning, which, let’s face it, just ain’t Taako’s style.

He slings the extra plastic of a large piping bag over his shoulder and gets to work filling the eclairs with a green matcha cream, praying to whoever was listening that it would be good enough to give to people to actually consume, but he won’t know until he pours the glaze and lets them cool for a few minutes.

He dabs his brow gently with a napkin and looks down at the tray of eclairs, nervously worrying his lip. Kravitz said he’d be by soon and Taako promised him a new recipe to try, but if it sucks how is he supposed to tell him? ‘Sorry, I made something that no human should ever eat, like, ever, see ya later!’? No, he can’t possibly put his reputation at risk for something as stupid as a white chocolate and matcha éclair.

He hears Magnus chatting with a customer up front and sighs, stretching his arms over his head as he walks out of the kitchen.

“I was wondering, by the way, if Taako was here?” He knows that voice, rich and even in its inquiry.

“Yeah! He’s in the- oh, there he is! Taako, this guy is here to see you!” Magnus grins and yeah, that’s definitely Kravitz standing there, giving Taako a coy smile from the other side of the counter. He feels his cheeks heat, but he figures he can blame it on the heat in the kitchen.

“Yeah, I mean, who isn’t here to see me, ya feel?” He jokes. “What can I do for ya Krav?” He asks.

“Well, I’ve decided to try your chai latte this time.” Kravitz says. “I don’t think I need all that cold brew, though it is amazing. I was also promised that I would be allowed to try something new?”

Taako hates how easy it is to flirt and talk with Kravitz. The guy is absolutely stunning, not a blemish or flaw in sight on his dark skin, neat pressed suit, locs tied away from his face and oh, that’s new, he has small gold hoops and charms clipped into his locs this time. Taako’s almost envious of the way the golden color makes his skin glow in the warm lights above the counter.

“Yeah, my man, I just gotta let it cool off so I can glaze it, ya dig? You can grab a seat wherever and I’ll bring it out to you once it’s done. Anything else I can get for you?”

Kravitz smiles and shakes his head, handing over a few dollars for his drink and placing a few in the tip jar. “I think you already do far too much for me, but thank you. I’m excited. If this is anywhere near as good as the macarons you gave me last time then I’m in for a treat.”

He winks again as he walks away and Taako is definitely red as a beet now, and goodness if that isn’t embarrassing enough, Magnus nudges him. “Yo, is that the critic guy?” He whispers in a decidedly Magnus way, which is to say he barely lowers his voice at all. “I can see why you’re so into him.”

Taako hisses a shush at him and swats at his arm. “You’re so fucking loud oh my God! Shut up! This is kitchen talk, not line talk!” He hurries back into the kitchen, desperately trying to get his face to cool down.

He feels sweaty and gross and honestly? A little lightheaded, but he can’t tell if that’s from exhaustion or anxiety at the thought of these being disgusting.

Either way, once the eclairs are cool enough, he sends a quick prayer up to whoever might be listening that these are the actual bomb dot com and then starts with the glaze. All things considered they at least look amazing, but who would expect any less from a literal magician of a chef?

He watches the glaze harden in between prepping more merengue for macarons and batters for cupcakes that he’s making for Barry’s birthday. He has a moment of panic remembering that he has a whole party to plan in the next couple of days, but he knows that he can handle it. He’s got this in the bag.

“Maggy, you got a sec?” He calls up front, waiting for the beefy man to poke his head in while he cuts an éclair in half.

“What’s up? Oooh, are they ready?” Magnus’s eyes light up as they land on the pastries and he rushes over. “What is it?”

“Matcha and white chocolate. I wanted to make some for Davenport but if enough people like them then I can add em to the menu, ya feel?” He grins, holding out one half to Magnus.

As he takes a bite he frowns. It’s sweeter than he’d like, but the filling is a perfect consistency and the glaze isn’t sticky or anything. It falls apart in his mouth, but it’s just a little too sweet for Taako’s more… refined tastes.

“It’s amazing!” Magnus gushes, devouring his in one go.

“Well natch, but how was it?”

Magnus pauses to think about it.

“The pastry itself was fluffy and fell apart in my mouth, so that was nice. The matcha filling worked really good with the white chocolate glaze. It was really good and I liked how sweet it was. I could probably eat like ten in one go before I regretted anything.”

Taako nods and takes a deep breath, plating one of the more aesthetically pleasing eclairs to bring out to Kravitz.

“Alright, my man, you ready to have your taste buds taken to a new plane of existence?” Taako asks, setting down the plate with a few napkins. Kravitz looks up from where he’s been typing on his laptop. “Whose career are you destroying today?” He sits opposite of Kravitz and props his chin on his hand.

“Just some nobody who thinks he’s a somebody. His name is Jenkins and he’s the head chef at Rockport Barbeque. The food was just awful, Taako. Dripping grease and just so bland. The bun was supposed to be toasted but it was so charred.”

“Oh my goodness, that sounds like hell. You should let me cook for you sometime. I’ve told you this before but I’m something of a professional.”

Kravitz smiles at Taako over the top of his computer. “I think I’d like that. Now, what do you have in store for me right now?”

Taako pushes the plate closer to Kravitz. “It’s a matcha filled éclair with white chocolate glaze. Magnus already gave me the go ahead. I gotta say, it’s a little too sweet for me personally, but you might like it.”

He grins again and picks up the pastry. “I have something of a sweet tooth so I’m sure I’ll love it.”

And he takes a bite.

And Taako feels his heart pounding in his chest.

And Kravitz tilts his head to the side, thinking.

And Taako takes a deep, shaky breath and tries not to freak out.

“It is a bit sweet, but I love it. The flavors work very well together and the pastry itself is perfectly made. I think it’s amazing.” And he takes another bite, humming to himself and clicking a few things on his laptop.

“Natch, I’m the best.” Taako flips his hair over his shoulder and Kravitz glances at him, stares for a second before quickly looking down. “What?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing, I just um. Nothing.”

“No, no, you have to tell me now, I’m curious.” Taako insists. “What were you gonna say?”

“Just um. You look very nice today. Your hair, it’s um. You straightened it. It looks pretty. And you just. Your outfit is nice.”

Taako feels his cheeks heat, but he blames it on the kitchen.

“Thank you… You look nice every day, though, so, y’know.”

And Kravitz laughs.

And Taako loves the sound.

“Yeah, my man, so like, just text me when you have a free night and I’ll make sure Lup is closing and I’ll make you the best food you’ve ever had.” Taako says, about an hour later when Kravitz is packing up his laptop. They’ve been chatting about everything. Taako talks about food and coffee and a little about Lup and Barry, her husband, and Magnus keeps staring at them from the counter in between stocking and helping customers.

Kravitz laughs and tosses a loose loc over his shoulder and Taako swears his heart melts. “I’m looking forward to it. You know, Taako… you’re really something. I mean that in the best way, you’re very nice and I’m looking forward to our date. I’ll see you later, and thank you again for the éclair. It was delicious.” And with that, Kravitz brushes his hand against Taako’s and leaves.

“Adios!” He waves.

As soon as Kravitz is out of the store, Taako hurries into the kitchen screeching ‘Maggy, kitchen now!’ as the door closes swings behind him.

“Are you okay? Are we gonna get shut down? Did he ruin us online?” Magnus asks, clearly worried.

“We’re going on a date!” Taako shrieks.

“What the fuck!?”

“I know!”

“I’m telling Lup!”

Taako freezes. “Wait, Maggy, no. Can we maybe… can we just keep this between us?” Taako bites his lip. “I don’t want her to know yet. I wanna tell her, but, like, maybe after? It’s not really anyone’s business.”

Magnus frowns but nods. “I… okay. Whatever you want, Taako.”

“Thank you, Maggy. Now, I think we have a new item on the menu, my dude.” He grins.

Taako doesn’t tell Lup about his date with Kravitz that they’ve planned for next Wednesday at Taako’s house at six thirty. He doesn’t tell her why he needs her help going shopping for a new outfit or help picking out a recipe to try at their ‘family’ dinner this week, and he sure as hell doesn’t tell her that he’s got a hair and nail appointment to get his roots touched up and his acrylics filled in. He doesn’t tell her any of that.

And he doesn’t know why.

Part of him thinks it’s because it’s literally none of her business what he does outside of work and their friend group. He’s an adult and he can go on a date without gushing about the details to his sister. She babies and coddles him enough as it is.

Just because he’s depressed doesn’t mean he needs a constant hand to hold, and if he does, it doesn’t have to be hers forever.

“So, you really like that sweater dress with those knee-high boots I have?” He asks, glancing at the garment again. He’s torn between that and a more form-fitting burnt orange pencil skirt with a white sleeveless blouse. Either way he’s gonna be flaunting his legs, but he wants to make sure he doesn’t look, well, malnourished or anything. He wants to make sure he looks good, not ill.

“Yeah, it makes it look like you’ve got a little more meat on your bones.” She says, completely offhand, examining her chipped pink nails. “The pencil skirt doesn’t flatter your ass as much as you might think. I think those black shorts with the scalloped hem, though? Those make your ass look like, well, like you have one.”

Taako sticks his tongue out at her. “You’re just jealous I’m the hotter twin.”

“We’re literally twins, you dingus!” She laughs.

“And I’m the hotter one, you goofus!” He snorts, but snags the shorts.

“You should get a white v-neck and a cute, chunky necklace. Your black ankle boots will look cute, too.” She says. “Why are you buying one new outfit anyway? You usually just buy a bunch of clothes and worry about asking later.” She starts flipping through a rack of jeans, eyeing a few over before shaking her head. “You got a hot date or somethin’?”

Taako bites his lip. He won’t tell her. He won’t tell her he has a date.

That doesn’t mean that he has to keep her completely in the dark.

“You remember that food critic guy, Kravitz?” He asks, pointedly not looking at her, going to a t-shirt display.

“Yeah?” She says. “What’s he got to do with anything?”

“He um, well, he came into the shop the other day and asked if I cooked at all, because he liked some macarons I made him the last time he was in, and I said yes, because natch I’m a glutton for punishment. I told him I was working on a cook book which, y’know, I’ve been working on for a while, but he asked if I would cook for him because he offered to promote my book if he likes my food.” Taako rushes the words out, making everything up on the spot. He prays she buys it.

“Taako! That’s great! I’m so proud of you!” She claps him on the back. “You’re the best chef around besides me, so you’ve got this in the bag. Have you been working on the book lately?”

“Uh, yeah, you know. After work and when I have some down time, ya know? It’s coming along very nicely.” He’s starting to regret his decision already. “But um, anyway, I’m just trying to appear professional but not bourgeois, so I think your idea is good. What should I make him?”

“Is that even a question? Forty clove garlic chicken, my dude.” She grins. “It’s your best recipe.”

He smiles. “You know what? You’re right. Come on, I got a grocery store to hit.”


	3. Forty Clove Garlic Chicken

Taako’s panicking.

He’s panicking and he’s home alone with a perfectly cooked chicken in the oven being kept warm, steamed broccoli, and honey butter glazed rolls. He’s cleaned everything from the bathroom downstairs to the living room to his bedroom for god’s sake. The house is spotless and he has candles lit in most of the rooms to freshen the smell from Clorox to citrus and vanilla.

There’s a bottle of pink Moscato chilling on the counter in an ice bucket and a case of a local brew of beer along with a few bottles of Miller High Life in the fridge. He doesn’t know if Kravitz drinks or not, but he figures he’ll present the man with some options.

He glances at the clock on his stove and frowns. It’s six thirty-three. Where’s Kravitz?

He glances at his phone.

No texts.

No calls.

Nothing from Kravitz, at least, just the group chat blowing up about Taako’s ‘meeting’ with him tonight, wishing him good luck that he likes the cooking and that he’s a fool if he doesn’t.

He waits for a few more minutes before he hears a knock at the door and he almost trips over himself on his way to answer it. “Coming!” He calls, checking himself quickly in the mirror in the foyer before reaching for the handle.

Then he pauses.

He pulls his phone from his pocket and unlocks it, pulling up his security app, thumb hovering over the ‘lock front door’ button before he checks through the peephole.

He feels a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding escape quickly as he’s met with Kravitz, who’s looking around a bit, eyebrows scrunched up.

He yanks open the door and smiles. “Krav, my man, so nice of you to join me. Come inside, please.” He steps back and lets Kravitz inside, the other man smiling warmly at Taako, face even and warm.

“Thank you for having me. You look… very nice.” Kravitz says, pulling off his suit jacket and Taako loves that he wears a full suit. He really does, because this black vest look is doing something for Taako he’d never expected.

“Same to you, my man. Lemme hang up your jacket.” He holds his hands out for Kravitz’s jacket, and the other man hands it over gratefully with a thank you and a smile. “You always dress nicely, especially for a food critic. You sure you’re not actually here to kidnap me?” Taako hangs the jacket up on his coat rack and turns back to him. “I know I may not look like much, but I’ll put up a fight, bubelah.”

Kravitz laughs and shakes his head, still smiling. “I promise that I’m not here to commit any heinous crimes against you, Taako. I believe I’m here because I was promised the best food I’ve ever had?”

Taako grins. “You bet your sweet ass, babe, I’m the best cook around. Would you like a pink Moscato or beer? Or water, y’know, whatever floats your goat.”

“I think the phrase is, ‘whatever floats your boat,’ but water will be fine, thank you.”

Taako leads him into the kitchen through the living room. “Yeah, well, tell that to Merle, he never knows what he’s talking about.”

“Merle?” Kravitz looks to where Taako’s set up two plates and placemats at the island, a candle set close by. “I don’t believe I’ve met him before.”

“Oh, you haven’t, he’s a lot older than me. But he basically raised me and Lup. He pulled us out of foster care when we were about to age out, said he wanted to prove that he could be a good dad. He’s got kids of his own, but they came around after us. He put Lup through school and officiated her wedding. He does a lot and he doesn’t realize it. He’s just kind of a dumbass.” Taako dons a pair of red oven mitts and pulls the warm food out of the oven, nudging it back shut with his hip.

“It sounds like he’s a parent figure to you, though. I didn’t know you were adopted.” Kravitz says, watching Taako intently.

“Well, I mean, it’s not like we really were. He just saw something in us, I guess, and helped us out until we were too old to be in the system. Lup met Magnus and Barry and Lucr-“ Taako pauses. “And Davenport in college and introduced all of us. Davenport was a guest speaker in one of her nerdy rocket science classes and she worked with him on her thesis during grad school.” He puts utensils in the food and smiles. “And as much as I love talking about myself, I also love talking about other people. So, tell me about yourself.” Taako says, dishing out the food.

“I mean, as far as upbringing goes, I was raised by my aunt Raven. She’s always been very supportive and polite, wanted me to be the best I could at whatever I did. She wasn’t ever much of a mother, though, she never let me call her such and I never really… saw her as one. Honestly, she was more of a guardian than a parent. She did so much for me, and I’m very grateful to her, but we don’t keep as close of contact these days, especially since she got married. Her wife is very kind, but they’re both rather… old, and Istus has trouble walking these days, so Raven usually opts to stay home with her and knit.”

Taako frowns. “You didn’t have parents either?”

Kravitz shakes his head and watches Taako walk to the fridge with a glass, getting water. “I wouldn’t say that, necessarily. I have parents out there somewhere. I remember them rather well, but they ah, weren’t very good parents. My mother was very mentally ill and probably shouldn’t have had custody of me as long as she did. My father passed when I was rather young, and by the time I was twelve my mother was barely there most days. She tried to drown me in the bathtub and almost succeeded, but I only lost consciousness, so when she thought she killed me she called the police and turned herself in. Oh, thank you,” He takes the glass of water from Taako, who pours himself a glass of the wine and sits next to Kravitz. “I don’t know, I don’t have the best upbringing, but I don’t let it define me.”

Taako nods. “I understand. I mean, I don’t understand your exact situation, but I know what you mean about not letting it define you.”

Kravitz smiles. “Well… this got rather heavy rather fast. What have you made for us tonight?” He’s staring down at his plate that has some of the best looking chicken he’s ever seen. “I see broccoli and bread. Surely the great Taako can do better than simple southern dinner?” He teases.

“I have made for you my famous forty clove garlic chicken.” He states, grinning. “I know what you’re thinking, ‘wow Taako, that’s a lot of garlic!’ but hear me out- the sooner you add the garlic in cooking, the longer it has to simmer down in flavor, so it’s not gonna feel like biting into chicken flavored garlic, but rather chicken with a good blend of lemon and garlic with a dash of paprika and pepper and the broccoli has Himalayan pink salt and lemon pepper, and the bread is honey butter glazed and made from scratch. Taako doesn’t do pre-made garbage.”

Kravitz is smiling at him. “Well, I’m definitely looking forward to it.”

Taako feels a blush creep up onto his cheeks and he turns to his food.

He didn’t realize how much he’d put on his plate when he was plating, and now he’s regretting it, but he doesn’t want Kravitz to ask questions, so he does his best to not pay attention to how many bites he’s taken, but decides to watch Kravitz eating. His first bite of every item is one of surprise, as if he’s shocked by how good the food tastes. He listens to Taako talk about Barry’s birthday party and Magnus spilling beer all over himself and the pinata, making their game far too easy.

Kravitz laughs and listens earnestly, adds his own stories of friends and family and parties gone awry. Taako laughs and listens in turn and they finish their dinner and Taako has another glass of wine, which Kravitz tries and decidedly does not like.

They move to the living room once they’re done packing leftovers and Taako makes a to-go container for him to take with him in case he needs lunch tomorrow or a late-night snack.

“So, Taako. I have to know. Was this all for business or pleasure?” Kravitz asks, he has his legs crossed lazily, facing Taako, who’s curled up on one side of the sofa.

“Uh, yeah, you know, a little bit of both. I definitely want to, you know, get to know you. I also don’t want you to drag my name through the mud and to hell and back. I know how popular your blog is, Krav.” Taako says, tossing his braid over his shoulder. “But I mean, more than anything you’re hot and nice and you listen, which is super dope. What about you?”

Kravitz smiles. “I don’t know why, but there’s just something about you that makes me want to be around you. You can talk to me about cooking and technique, you’re funny and the way you speak about your friends makes me think that there’s little you wouldn’t do for them. You’re dedicated and very hard working and an excellent cook. You’re very unapologetically you and I admire that.”

Taako blinks. “Damn, bubbeleh, you must like me or somethin’ huh?”

Kravitz turns away and Taako swears he can see red creeping up the dark skin on his neck. “Would you blame me if I did?”

Taako leans forward and places a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Not at all.”

* * *

Taako gets sick a couple weeks after that.

He wakes up one morning and has to peel his eyes open. His eyelids are crusty and feel gritty against his eyes, his mouth is dry and his throat feels like someone stuck their fist down there with a knife. His chest is tight and his nose is covered in dry snot.

All in all, not a look or feel Taako enjoys.

He calls Lup immediately, knowing that she’ll be able to handle the kitchen if Magnus or Merle can cover the front. Otherwise they’ll have to close and Taako is not about to lose out on a day of income, he has bills and a mortgage to pay, alright?

“Lulu,” He sounds like death, holy shit. “I need you to open. I’m sorry, I know you’re supposed to have the morning off, but I think I’m dying.”

“It’s okay! What’s wrong?” She sounds like she just woke up, which she probably did considering that it’s about five a.m. “You got a cold or somethin’?” He hears rustling and knows she’s getting out of bed.

“I think so. I can’t breathe out of my nose and my throat and chest hurt.” He sounds pathetic but he curls up in bed. “My mouth is so dry.”

“Okay, go get some water. I’ll have someone swing by later to bring you fruit and medicine, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, Lulu.”

“No problem, Koko. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

“Okay.” He hangs up after that and buries his face in his pillow and sees a message from Kravitz timestamped at… four a.m.? What the fuck? He opens it and blinks the nastiness from his eyes, trying to read the small text against the bright LED screen.

**From: Krav** 😊

Hey! I hope I don’t wake you up with this, but work called me in super early this morning and I just wanted to see if you were working today? I know you usually do on Wednesdays, but I wanted to double check. 😊

Taako smiles. They’ve been texting more and more since their little date at Taako’s house a couple weeks ago. Kravitz has even called Taako at night just to chat sometimes, which makes Taako’s big, empty house feel less… well, less big and empty.

**To: Krav** 😊

Hey krav, sick as fuck rn so I wont be at work today. Sorry : c wanted to see ur face today, too, but I think I may be literally dying so Im not allowed around food or drink. Some other time tho okay? Hope u have a good day at work

He locks his phone screen after that and groans. His face aches, his joints ache, everything aches. Why is this a thing? He sits up and rubs his eyes again, hating how much gunk scrapes against his knuckles as he shuffles over to his bathroom and flips on a light. Ugh, way too bright, he thinks, flipping it back off. He knows just what he’ll do to feel better, so he searches his cupboards downstairs for scented tea lights and a lighter, shuffling back upstairs to his room. He places almost a dozen candles on the counter and side of the tub before turning the water on almost as hot as it can go, dumping in a healthy amount of Epsom salts and lavender essential oil along with it. Taako doesn’t fuck around when it comes to self-care alright?

The sun is just starting to try to fight through the glue chip window above the bathtub, casting funky patterns all over his body under the water and on the tiles and the pale pink walls. Taako takes a deep breath- through his mouth, of course- and closes his eyes. It’s times like these that he wishes he’d upgraded the tub from a modern clawfoot to an inset with jacuzzi jets.

His phone vibrates somewhere on the floor inside the rumpled mass that is his nightgown. He figures it’s not that important, that someone will call him if it’s actually a life or death situation.

As he sits back in the hot water, looking up at the ceiling, he thinks about Sazed.

He doesn’t mean to, he’s done a great job the past few months of decidedly not thinking about his ex, but sometimes he can’t catch himself.

He remembers the night they broke up.

_“You can’t just come into my house whenever you want to!” Taako had yelled at him, hands on his hips, sink running in the background as Taako cleaned up the dinner he’d made for himself and Magnus, who’d come by to ask Taako’s advice on an engagement ring for Julia. That was it. Sazed had come in, unannounced, and started accusing Taako of cheating on him with Magnus. _

_Magnus had tried to diffuse the situation calmly, but Taako had told him to just go, that they’d talk more about Julia’s ring tomorrow, that it was fine, thank you for coming to him for this, it meant a lot. _

_The second the door had shut, Taako turned on his heel and started shouting. It was his fault, he’d later realize, that the events that happened after were because of his stupid, selfish actions then. _

_“You disrespect my friends in my house and then have the audacity to accuse me of cheating on you? Why would I? Magnus has Julia, have you met them? They’re not capable of doing those kinds of things to each other!” His voice got louder and louder. “You’re such a fucking prick!”_

_“How am I supposed to trust you to do anything?” Sazed had shouted. “You’re such a god damn slut that it’s impressive I haven’t walked in on you fucking one of those ‘friends’ yet!” _

_“You’re projecting your insecurities onto me and it’s fucking suffocating!” He rubs his eyes and goes to turn off the sink. _

_As soon as Taako turns back around, Sazed is there, crowding him up against the sink, hands all over Taako’s body, up under his skirt, under his shirt, in his hair, roughly tugging strategically placed bobby pins out and onto the floor below. _

_“Get off of me-!” His voice is cut off by Sazed’s mouth on his, hungry and hot and honestly gross. “Stop!” He shouts against the other man’s lips. “Get off me!” _

_“You’re gonna be good for me now and show me that even if you are a slut, you’re still mine.” His voice is low and rough and it sends a chill down Taako’s back. He’s afraid. _

_“No.” His voice is barely above a whisper, and that’s about the time that Sazed’s fist connected with his face, somewhere between his cheekbone and his eyebrow, Taako sees stars, his mind spins, and his stomach drops into the floor. _

_“You don’t tell me ‘no’, Taako.” A slap, hard across his cheek, tears well up in his eyes. “You don’t tell me jack shit, you understand?” _

_He takes too long to respond, hand cradling his stinging cheek. _

_Another punch, this time in the gut. _

_He doubles over. _

_“You’re scum, Taako. Everything you have is because you fucked your way to success and money. You’re nothing. You were born an orphan and you’re gonna die like that, too. But right now you have a chance to be useful to me. You understand?” Sazed’s voice is low, and his hand grips Taako’s hair, pulling him back upright. _

_Taako is struggling to catch his breath, what the hell is happening?_

_Sazed’s arm is pulled back for another blow, but it doesn’t connect. Taako, who had closed his eyes in anticipation and fear, cracks one open. _

_Magnus and Lup are there, pulling on Sazed’s large frame and Taako slides against the cabinets to the ground, realizing he’s sobbing. He can feel his eye swelling up from the first hit. _

_The rest of the night passes in a blur, Magnus and Lup shouting at Sazed, Barry shows up at one point with Merle and Davenport, and Sazed, realizing he’s out numbered, leaves, promising Taako he’d ‘regret this’ which, in hindsight, Taako finds funny and dramatic, but he also knows that Sazed kept that promise. _

_Lup had gotten an ice pack out of Taako’s freezer and wrapped it in a kitchen towel, held it against Taako’s face as he cried on the kitchen floor, gripping her tight. Magnus is right there, too, arm around Taako’s shoulders, apologizing for leaving him alone with that creep. _

_When Taako calms down enough to talk, he explains what had happened. He’d blamed himself, said that   
he’d started it, that he should have just given Sazed what he wanted. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, it's been... a while since i updated this! Between a few weddings I had to go to, working more hours every week, traveling, and getting ready to move I've been super duper busy and I'm sorry for that! But here you go! Coulda sworn I'd updated this before but I guess not, so have a short, heavy chapter, and the next one will be longer I promise!


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